Wir Sind Helden.

I am officially brain-dead. I've surprised myself these few weeks with the amount of studying I've been doing but my head is clogged and quite German adverse for the time being. The vocabulary for the module is madness, I tell you! Madness! I've never done so much memorising in my life!

Anyhow, it's been an interesting few days. I've been spending alot of money. My mind, which has been in overhaul for the last couple of weeks(academics apart) has finally quietened down and I am henceforth in my moment of Zen.(not for long though I gather, as my mind is a restless being in itself) And, I realise that I have nothing else to say here. haha. What a pointless post! But hey! I'm alive! Boo.

Oh yes, I shall be going away for two days! Tis only for the weekend but it is nonetheless going to be fun, it being an all girls family getaway- moms, aunts and cousins included. Aiya. I really have nothing else to say and this post isn't very nice-sounding. Perhaps when I return I shall have more to warble on about!

Auf Wiedersehen!

Joyeux Anniversaire!

My dearest DandyLion Lakshmi BeeHoon, Happy Birthday!!
You are one of the quirkiest and strangest people ever, you have a heart of gold, you're an absolute sweetheart and with all that there are still so many reasons why I love you beaucoup beaucoup. You very old already, leh!

Bonjour!

I woke up this morning with the usual dark scowl that the time of day has come to witness almost daily, moaning as usual and contemplating whether to head back to sleep and screwing everything else. The normal thing would be to try and ease the pain of getting up by giving myself as many five-minutes-mores as I possibly can before I become officially late and unsalvageably late. By this point, I have no hope for the rest of the day but per usual after the required caffeine shots, Sandy Lion becomes quite dandy and ready to report for smiles. I digress. My point being really, that today started off awfully and one wouldn't expect to have had such a brilliant day, but I did!

It was the small things really that took the cake off everything else. There are two little girls in the estate who are always cycling around and sitting in the open with their Nai Nai. They're two delightful little things, complete with the chubby cheeks and all the sweetness in the world. They're pretty much Mandarin speakers so normally when I pass them by I stop and coo and say a little before going off. They're so adorable that I've given them names that are impossibly apt for them, Polly and Rosy. Polly's a little chatterbox and the older gem's always ready with a "Jie Jie, hallo, Jie Jie!" . Rosy's rather quiet, being the younger babe, so her normal practice is to smile and giggle as Jie Jie walks by. Anyway today I was going to the shop and Rosy and her aunty were sitting on one of the benches next to the field. As I passed by, I gave her a silent wave and in return, the sweetheart gave a little giggle and raised her stubby little hand, fluttering her tiny fingers shyly as she blushed. Of course yours truly melted into a puddle right about then.


"She looks up at you,
porcelein skin and rosy cheeks,
her glittering eyes crinkle
as her tiny lips form a delectable grin."

Later on, I was heading out and as I was coming out of my place, I saw my bus arriving at the bus stop a good two hundred metres away. I tried running for it anyway, half knowing that it was a goner, but giving it a shot since I was going to be late if not. I hate running for buses, because you know it is so tak glam(ho, ho, like I am at all glamourous in the first place!). Anyhow, I was about halfway there when the bus started moving off and I was already envisioning the whole hands thrown in the air thing along with the cursing that would come along as you wonder why the driver couldn't just stop since they ALWAYS see you running anyway. To my surprise, the bus stops and the driver waits for me to continue my sprint towards it! I got on the bus to find the driver looking forward, without an expectation of any manner of thanks from me. I managed to heave out an emphatic expression of thanks amidst my panting and he simply gave an acknowledging nod and went on his way. I love such people. It's wonderful to meet a person who'd display such an extention of goodwill. It's not a matter of how small the gesture was, but that he could do it without a qualm, any self-agenda or even merely expecting a showing of basic courtesy. If not brilliant enough, three hours later the guy drove me back home. As I got off the bus I hurried a little to pass the front door before the bus moved off, and the fellow gave me a hearty wave and once again went on his way. I can't begin to say how much I wish I'd, by some virtue of intuition, known that it would be him again because I would have loved to have bought him something. Anyone that pleasant deserves a piece of cake, don't you think?

Sometimes you realise how frequently you bypass the little things around you and if today's anything to go by, it's really the small "inconsequentials" that can make you realise that you've had one of the happiest days of your life.

Comme Si, Comme Ça!

Ma tête a gelé!! Je réalise que ce n'est pas facile pour étudier une langue pendant le semestre spécial. Apprendre une nouvelle langue est toujours difficile et amusant aussi, mais ce semestre est trop court est on droit apprendre très vitement. Pour langues, se précipiter est difficile. Il y a beaucoup de études pour Allemand. Les vocabulaire est fou! Pour Français 1, il n'avait pas tant de mots pour memoriser comme ça! Mais j'étudie seriusement et he pense que il sera bien. Bah! Je commencerai ma classe Chinoise demain!! Je suis fou!

Un certain quelqu'un retournera bientôt. Je ne sais pas qu'est-ce que je ferai ou qu'est-ce que sera après, mais j'espére pour le mieux et je donne mes problems à Dieu.(BLAGUE!! Qui est Dieu??) Ils disent "Que sera sera", non? Ah oui, je veux apprends l'Espagnole aussi.(Un autre blague. Peut-être à une autre fois. C'est une langue sexy!)

Bien. Comme toujours, Je droit me reveiller à six heures moins quinze du matin demain, alors, bonne nuit!!

Enough of Thought, Philosopher!

I had breakfast with a couple of old junior college friends today. It's been a long time and it was refreshing to see familiar faces once more. From the furtive, hald-amused looks exchanged between Grinch and myself, little has changed and it was cosy in some matter to feel that idiosyncracies transform into endearments over time. It's the silly things about your friends, the habits you'd always found bizarre or rolled your eyes at, that at the end of the day hold possession of your fondest memories and bring about a knowing smile.

Hors De Prix was quite a turn-off in all it's superficiality. I can't appreciate shows when I cannot identify with the lead characters and here you have a wench who indulges in promiscuous and materialistic relationship abuse and an absolute pusstard for a male. (pardon-moi for the bluntness, but I absolutely cannot tolerate a man with no balls. period.) But as usual, it's not so much the activity but the company and with Rosie, that is always good. Je t'aime beaucoup, beaucoup!

It's at the end of such days that I really appreciate the fortune I've had in meeting all the people I have, how much they have shaped me and how much more of a person I am because of them. Despite any degree of independence or how used you are to doing things on your own and relying on yourself, we all need people and I can't be more grateful for the ones I already have. (:

"Enough of thought, philosopher!
Too long hast thou been dreaming
Unlightened, in this chamber drear,
While summer's sun is beaming!
Space-sweeping soul, what sad refrain
Concludes thy musings once again?"

Of Girls and Such.

I stepped into town yesterday for the first time in months, (perhaps I've been in once or twice for a late night movie but I think it doesn't count!) and to be honest, I can't say I missed much of old Orchard Road. I've always tried to convince myself that I like shopping, and well I love new clothes, shoes and what not, but a little over an hour after we commence, I'm dying to stop and go home. I hate the crowds, hate the entire process of picking things out and having to try them and especially hate shopping with people because you have to be considerate and wait for each other, mumble a little here and there when your partner falls for something completely ghastly, even more so when they try and convince you to try on that ridiculously awful looking top while you smile wryly and wonder to yourself what one earth you're doing there. I suppose it's nice hanging out with friends and face it, most girls like to shop and as such most of my friends do too, but sweet Jesus, it's beyond me how any sane person can go for hours on end, not just looking meticulously at every single piece of cloth in sight but also trying them all one. Doesn't it get tiring for anyone else to have to keep changing and unchanging, over and over? I've had many a conversations with the girls about the pains of shopping and well, apparently I'm just strange.

The aunt's not a bad person to shop with, though as usual I enjoyed the company well over the actual activity itself. I got a nice few things and that is the only pleasure about shopping. You could say I'd like things to fall out from the sky! Halfway through our trip, my beautiful Elizabeth Arden bag gave way on me, no thanks to the heavy German books I'd been lugging around in it. I was quite grumpy about it, because it's probably the only branded item I own apart from maybe Wilson or Nike and considering the brand I'd have expected to to at least be durable. Although since I really don't give much when it comes to names, as Ümlaut pointed out yesterday, it was nice and apple-ly coloured and I don't like loosing pretty things. I went around looking for a new bag that could match up to it's standards(of colour, obviously) but not it's price and about five minutes into the search, I decided that I couldn't take any more perusal and let the aunt pick out a fairly fine-looking one.

Apart from that little adventure(and I dare say that there won't be another time quite so soon), there's been German and tennis and the whole lot of running up and down from school. Almost all of my girlfriends are away or working and unavailable, and as always, it's at times like these when you truly realise what integral parts of your life they've been and how quiet it is when they're not around. Come back soon, girlies!

And for some unrelated chatter,

"Some men tear your heart in two,
Some men flirt and flatter,
Some men never look at you,
And that clears up the matter."

Mother Dearest.

There are times when I huff and puff at the things you say and blow up in frustration when it comes to our conflicting opinions. But above all that, even your most tiresome of moments are just reflections your total and unconditional love for me, your determination for me to remain unscarred and untouched by the more unpleasant things around. We may never quite see eye to eye on things, but I will never be doubtful of how much you have sacrificed for me to be on this earth, I will never fail to understand the underlying reasons for your constant worries and fears and I will never, ever forget how deeply you care for me because it is in everything you do.

Happy Mothers' Day, Momsie.

My Favourite People!

Desiree BeeHoon Laskhmi Dandy-Lion *gasps for breath* Choo Pei Ling!

AU REVOIR!! Je te manquerai beaucoup, beaucoup, beaucoup! We have hardly been apart since we met on that rainy day in July and I don't know what to do now! Anyway my sweet dandy-lion, have a wonderful time, buy me plenty of cadeaus and I shall brush up my tamil and other langues so that we can speak FramilchinoisdeutscH, d'accord? Don't worry, I will check in on Mother Aggie from time to time.


Grinch, oh my GrumpyWump!

Happy birthday, old lady with now-long-flowing-hair! Can i braid it for you? You ground me in so many ways, you have no idea. You are my person. :)

These things aside, I am so fucking frustrated, but this is not the place to vent, so Auf Wiedersehen.

BitterSweet Goodbyes.

"I can never ever say goodbye to the wind , sea and the sky,
Because though they may be free, they also make me cry.
To take away what I feel dear drains, for me, my inner soul."

So I have officially moved out of hall for the holidays. I took days to shift out, a good deal of the reason why was because over the year I'd managed to transfer everything I've ever owned and more into the little half of my sweet room, and partly because I just didn't want to leave. It's tough leaving everything behind. In the past year, I've grown in more ways than I can imagine, found myself in places I didn't know existed and best of all, met people I never thought I'd love more. I know i'm coming back and that my 'home' is not entirely lost, add to the fact that there are things i love about being back in my real home. But I suppose nobody likes good times to end. On top of it, there are the people whom I've only just met and warmed up to and much as I wished I had more time with them, there just isn't any. There are promises to keep in touch, to stay in contact, but really, it's scary how much too often, what's once said with heartfelt meaning can all fade into mere words as time blows bye. It just occurred to me the other day that having the best of times eventually provides you with the harshest of pains. When it all ends (and everything inevitably will) it cuts you like a knife and even deeper. Okay, well don't mind me. I'm just very emotional with goodbyes.

So on to brighter things, it's been quite an interesting week back home. My things from the hall room now occupy ALL of my home room, and my hall space is about half the size of what I have at home. How I managed such a feat is beyond me, and I have completely bewildered/annoyed the folks too because they've had to manage the endless moving of things and now my un-enterable room. I shall work things out by tomorrow, I shall!

German classes have started and it's been sehr gut! Other than that I've been running around visiting my lovely aunties(who ask endlessly about whether there are any strapping young men in my life. Nein, oh nein! ), doing some Bee Hoon things(est-ce tu a aimé ta fête? >, shifting the last of my things out and READING! Oh, my life! If there is one thing I have ignored for too long, it is that! The best thing about living so far away from school is that I get about four hours a day of time with my books and the papers and it is serene and I am content. I have also finally started getting back to being fit, registered at Alliance Français , planned out the tennis schedule and had the Welcome Home fight with the mother.(Well, everything goes, innit?)

I feel like I'm finally doing something productive with myself and I'm revelling in my momentous drive to do some justice to my being. In the past year, I think I've found my social self and have enjoyed it thoroughly, but I've at the same time, in sheer sloth, ignored the intellectual side of things in the process and it's time to get both on par. Discipline, discipline. It's all about discipline, and I hope that after being on a life-long guilt trip about never quite accomplishing all the things I could have done with just a little more effort, I shall change the direction in which I'm headed and fulfill all the wonderful things written in the stars!

EH, leopards can change their spots okay. If you didn't know that, you're just stupid. Pfft.

Emily Brown, To You.

"Who do you think is comin to town?
You'll never guess who,
Lovable, hugable Emily Brown,
Miss Brown to you.
What if the rain comes pattering down?
My heaven is blue,
Can it be sending me Emily Brown?
Miss brown to you.
I know her eyes will thrill ya,
But go slow, oh, oh
Don't you all get too familiar,
Why do you think she's comin to town,
Just wait and you'll see,
The lovable little miss brown to you,
Is baby to me, yes, yes
Mark it down."

So the exams are finally over and I'm quite the free bird for the moment! I don't like how exams end these days. In previous times, I'd actually feel a rushing sense of relief as I put my pen down, lavishing in the freedom that my hard work had actually attained. Those were good feelings. Now it's just a half-hearted sigh with some gladness that it's all over but there's no sense of accomplishment, which leaves me a little empty inside. It's not the first time, and I pray for it not to become too much of a habit.

I've spent a wonderful couple of hours since though, starting off with a McDonald's surprise party that was hilarious and silly and absolutely, perfectly fantastic. One would never have imagined a crazier sight, twenty adult-ish looking people in a cordoned off section of your neighbourhood fastfood joint, dancing the Chicken dance with more fervour and enthusiasm than your wildest bunch of kids. I'm sure we were the worst behaved lot they'd ever had, but the manager seemed to love us nonetheless, while the bewildered diners outside peered in half amused and half annoyed and the amount of noise we were making.

If there is one thing I will miss about hall during the holidays(Disclaimer:Bee Hoon, I will miss you MOST of all) it will be talking through the night and into the wee hours of the morning. I think I would be completely content if the one thing I could do for the rest of my life would be to sit with someone every day and just talk uninhibitedly about anything in the world. I think there are few other things that would make me as happy.

After the sun had come up and I managed to get some shut-eye, I took Bee Hoon and Teesa to Little India for a visit which was quite an interesting experience even for me, I must say. I am quite a Coconut la, OKAY. I admit. I'm not very cultured. I'm just me. Take or leave it. (: Anyhoo, we spent the rest of the day shopping and Bee and I ended up back at ol' Seah Im. I remember that place fondly and had I not been quite so tired I would have suggested taking another stroll back to hall, ergo I would probably be collapsing back in hall right about now.

People are slowly moving out of hall and it's quiet. The silence is salient. There's a twinge of sadness whenever you notice that the place is not quite like it used to be. People are leaving, some for good, some for the holidays. I've never been good with goodbyes. I've had some of the best times of my life this year, I've met some of the most amazing people in this hall, some of whom I've only just gotten to know or appreciated weeks or days before we're meant to say goodbye. But well, all things come to an end, good or bad, and things that are meant to be will find themselves in their fated directions. Notalgia, nostalgia. I think it's times like these when I'm about as wimpy and soppy as I'll ever be.

C'est comme ça, oui?

Waiting Round the Bend.

Today's been quite a mauvais kind of day for some reason. It's been a long stretch of bothersome stress and the related anxieties, added I suppose to the absence of quite so many people and the dreaded paper of doom tomorrow. Even Eng Hock (or Sandy Lion as it is these days) needs a break from all the dandiness and smiles I suppose. I spent most of the day moping around like a pitiful pup, whining non-stop and letting irrationality get the better of me because I really didn't know how else to deal. My lovelies were quite the pamperers(would there be such a word?) today- thank you for all the calls, chocolate, coffees, teas, dinner, donuts and of course the cinnamon roll on toilet paper which just about made my day. I shall be myself again tomorrow, I'm sure. (:

"Moon river wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style someday
You dream maker, you heartbreaker
Wherever youre going I'm going your way
Two drifters off to see the world
Theres such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbows end
Waiting round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river
And me."

I've been watching a couple of soccer games and Moon River's been playing quite abit. It's bittersweet and I miss you, Paps.